Nothing is always absolutely so.

Just the finishing details, now, and then I'll start piecing together all those snippets that I've written so far and start stitching an actual story out of them.

I'm so tired. Oof.

I was cleaning up and found a paper scrap on which I'd written some TEF endgame notes (some really awful shit too, eurgh) as well as some stuff that I know can't get worked into TEF proper, but it was stuck in my head for long enough that I wanted to unload it.

I imagine this is a conversation that happened between the boys at some point while they were at JS, Inc. This is straight-up unedited word vomit that came out of my brain. (Setup: The boys don't usually do cases requiring any sort of cover. It's kind of a moot point for them. Mostly between Boomer and Brick. Butch is dicking around, probably eating his weight's worth in chicken fried steak or some shit like that. Also, this was written sometime last year, hence Brick's dig at the Boy Scouts.)

( Why can't we have a cover? )

I'm sorry I haven't been around much, but rest assured I'm still working on TEF! I know it's slow going, but thanks for being patient with me. It brings me no small amount of joy to track the tag on tumblr and see all the recs and fanart spilling out into the Internet ether. I would be working on TEF anyway, but seeing the enthusiasm for it does wonders for my motivation like you wouldn't believe. I LOVE AND APPRECIATE YOU ALL SO MUCH ♥

In my limited downtime I've been working on breaking down my playlists for each couple, so for any interested parties, you have that to look forward to. Blues are up first :) (I may cheat and throw a couple of Greens songs that have been consuming my ears on a near 24/7 basis lately.)

He suggested I post a cookie, so you have him to thank for this.

( I got this out of the box marked TEF ch10. )

Do people even call these cookies anymore? Man, I'm out of touch.

Unfortunately the chat I was alluding to in my previous entry - the one I was hoping to do at the end of this month - will have to get pushed back. I'm going to have to spend the end of this month traveling overseas for a funeral instead.

I found out early yesterday morning and was debating whether or not to say anything. I can't help but feel like mentioning it at all is some twisty cry for attention on my part no matter how cathartic it might actually be. Especially considering the whole reluctant BNF thing. But my mood's also been all over the place since yesterday morning and there's a good chance I could hulk out or at the very least say something really pissy and hurtful if I don't at least acknowledge it. So. This is me, acknowledging it. I don't know how hard it is to picture, but all the angry, emotional, soap-opera-esque intensity of FEELING there is in TEF with all the various characters? The stuff that you've read and the stuff that's forthcoming? I don't know what I'm saying. Maybe just that I spend a lot of time there. And I get people saying How are you able to write these characters this way, asking me how I do it so well, and that's the problem, I don't actually feel like I do it well, because I'm just writing how I feel, and most of the time I feel angry. I feel angry and pissy and bitter all the fucking time. And that's basically all I'm doing, is cordoning off all these individual bits and pieces of this me-monster into different people. I don't know. It's nothing special. Everybody on this planet is angry and pissy and bitter, all the fucking time, just like me. I'm not doing anything different, besides maybe writing it down and shoving into a bunch of cartoon characters, I guess. That's all. Sorry about the angst. I thought it was something you outgrew, but not really, huh? It just gets channeled into all these other little parts of yourself and festers like this little rotten thing inside you instead of going all Harry Potter Book 5.

Anyway. I've been planning a couple of posts for a while. I'm determined to get through as many questions as I can this weekend (and I'm not forcing myself, really, I'll have the time and things to fill my time are good for me right now) and I've been working on and off on a semi-detailed rundown of my various TEF!playlists. The Blues are up first, because, well, they start with "B" and that comes before "G" and "R." It turned into more of a project than I expected it to; you'll see what I mean. Then there's other stuff that I'm not calling to mind at the moment. Oh! A few days ago I thought about doing something special, inspired by the (fake) strangers kissing vid that went viral earlier this week. Maybe in April. We'll see.

For the record, if anyone offers their sympathies, I really do appreciate it, but I'd rather you commented with a link to something funny or happy or fluffy. Something to make me smile. I wallow enough as it is and sympathy only tends to enable that, which isn't healthy for me. In fact, let's make that a rule for the comments on this post! Something happy/fluffy/funny, if not all of the above!

(Speaking of happy things, the recent fanart by waffleswithketchup posted to the fanblog and lockwoodspenis' TEF re-read liveblog! Those things make me so happy. Thanks guys ♥ I'm very sorry to have immortalized these shout-outs in a post filled with my whinging.)

I came across this fantastic vid by way of two other vids (there's a boring story here, kids, so settle in!). A couple of days ago I got an itch to see what Kaba Modern, who I've generally considered my fave dance group even though I haven't kept up with anything they've done since ABDC, had been up to in recent years (a friend first introduced me to their work ~2007). I don't think I've mentioned it before; KM basically served as inspiration for Blossom's style of hip hop choreography in my head during the (later) formative years of TEF. I always envisioned her choreo to be very technical, precise, and detail-oriented, something that always really struck me about KM's work. I watched this performance of theirs pretty much every free second I had for most of 2007 and 2008.

Anyway, back to the present. I looked up a recent performance of theirs and (happily) discovered Vibe XIX had just gone down a month ago (side note, holy crap Vibe has a tumblr, not sure why this surprises me since everyone sans me has a tumblr these days). Watching their performance led me to search for who took 1st home this year, which was Academy of Villains, and fuck, they put on a hell of a show. Can't argue with them winning.

But watching them got me interested in who else had placed, which led me to the stunning number put on by The Company, who took 2nd. And... well, I basically haven't watched anything beyond this vid, because when I start to think about watching another performance, I find I kinda... just want to watch this one again. Over and over. Because it's pitch perfect inspiration for Blossom for me.

There's the very technical and detail-oriented aspect of it, of course - that's going to be a given with most dance groups that place in competitions - but what elevates this one for me is this understated sensuality about the performance that feels very much in line with Blossom's character. juxtaposie remarked to me early on in TEF that dance felt so perfect for Blossom as a means of expressing herself. There's the technical side of it, of course, but then there's also the saying about dance being a vertical expression of a horizontal desire. Which, well. Really fits Blossom for me, especially when you take into account the idea that Blossom has this subconscious want to repress her sexuality, because she doesn't have the time/it's distracting/there's more important things to attend to, etc., etc.. But, of course, there's always dance.

That's all the stuff that goes through my head when I watch The Company's performance at Vibe XIX.

So if anyone out there wanted an idea of what Blossom's hip hop group choreo looks like in my head, you should basically just watch this video over and over. In fact, here is a wider angle on it, though I highly recommend watching the front row one linked above first. (The wider angle gives you a better idea of how tight their formations and transitions are.) God. I can't wait to finish writing this entry so I can go watch this video another five times before bed.

For shits and giggles, here's Academy of Villains' performance (much more of a "show," which made it a big crowd-pleaser) and KM's (still good, buuuuuuut pretty dull in comparison to the winners).

Oh man, guys. It's so good. Watch it and please do let me know what you think.