Entry tags:
Still sucking, sorry
Too much going on in life to post rn; delaying posting for another week or summat.
I will, however, leave you with this.
Tough Love Synopsis (sbj style)
Warning: Should probably be avoided at all costs by people who are easily offended by excessive cursing. Although if that's the case then I have absolutely no idea why you stick around to read my journal.
based on a suggestion by![[profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
spikerocksmysox
NARRATOR: Free love, baby! That's how we play it here in Townsville. Men, women, sisters, you name it. Yeah, you heard me. Sisters lovin' it up. We're going to Hell, but we're enjoying the ride.
THE GIRLS: We are pretty sure free love has nothing to do with incest. Really. Look it up.
OLD LADY: Kitty that is a tree, get out of there! Trees are not for cats. Where will you put the litterbox? Why didn't you think of that before you got up there?
KITTY: Meow! (Translation: I DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND ENGLISH YOU FUCKING IDIOT JUST GET ME OUT OF THE GOD DAMN TREE)
BUTTERCUP: Oh awesome I love ripping trees out of the ground
BUBBLES: No I can just grab—
BUTTERCUP: *rips tree out of the ground*
BUBBLES: Okay yeah I guess that works too. Kitty!
BLOSSOM: Oh awesome I love picking up old ladies
OLD LADY: No I can just stay down—
BLOSSOM: *picks up old lady*
OLD LADY: Okay yeah I guess that works too. Kitty!
BUTTERCUP: You're familiar with our service fees, yes?
OLD LADY: Head pats for everyone!
BUTTERCUP: Has anyone in Townsville bothered reading our term sheet? You're all getting a massive invoice later.
MS. KEANE: *slips on a roller skate, which totally belongs in a Kindergarten classroom, I mean, that's not a disaster waiting to happen or anything*
BLOSSOM: Oh awesome I love picking up old ladies
MS KEANE: Thank God! I could've broken—wait what
BLOSSOM: Uhhh quick somebody get a distraction apple
*Bubbles used distraction apple*
MS. KEANE: 8DDDDD
*It's super effective!*
(Note: The apple is friggin' huge, I'm not kidding, watch the ep)
MAYOR: God damn this pickle jar, God damn it to hell—
MS. BELLUM: Sir, let me just—
MAYOR: *on the Hotline* Girls! Emergency!
MS. BELLUM: You know, even though it's hanging right on the wall in my house, I don't even look at my Masters Degree in Political Science anymore. It's too depressing.
BUTTERCUP: Have you read our term sheet, Mayor?
BLOSSOM: Don't ask rhetorical questions, Buttercup.
BUTTERCUP: No seriously, people better start reading this shit or I am going to start breaking legs.
*Bubbles used open jar*
MAYOR: 8DDDDD
*It's super effective!*
GIRLS: Professor! We are here to help you with science!
PROFESSOR: Sure! That sounds like an AWESOME IDEA.
GIRLS: We are good at science!
*Girls actually suck at science*
HIM (AKA BAMF): Damn it! That could be me doing science with the Professor!
AUDIENCE: ... Why is this dude watching them while he is naked in the bath.
HIM: Stupid girls ruin everything!
AUDIENCE: Is that a girl or a guy? I guess since you can see its nipples it must be the latter.
HIM: Ducky! You understand my pain.
AUDIENCE: Okay some of us are uncomfortable now
HIM: Augh! How can I make him notice meeee—
AUDIENCE: Um did we just see heels
HIM: I know! I'm going to spread nasty rumors about those sluts on Facebook! Oh, I'm so clever! This totally calls for a Little Mermaid moment!
AUDIENCE: Okay, everybody is really uncomfortable now.
HIM: Oh, ohhh it's magic! You know~!
AUDIENCE: Were those tentacles? We think we just saw tentacles. This is officially the creepiest episode ever.
BUBBLES: Kitty!
BUTTERCUP: Term sheet! Read it! I made copies!
KITTY: *PISSED OFF CAT FACE*
OLD LADY: *PISSED OFF OLD LADY FACE*
*Kitty used scratch*
BUBBLES: Ow!
*Old lady used cane*
GIRLS: Ow!
BUTTERCUP: ALL I DID WAS ASK YOU TO READ IT, GOD
MS. KEANE: Enough of this special treatment! Regular kids get tardies! You're getting tardies too!
BLOSSOM: Excuse me, but regular kids do not go around thwarting crime and rescuing kitties and saving the world and stuff.
BUTTERCUP: This is covered in our term sheet. Here, I made copies.
MS. KEANE: Sit your asses down!
BLOSSOM: Why do women get all bitchy when they get older?
MS. KEANE: SAY THAT A LITTLE LOUDER, I DIDN'T HEAR YOU
BLOSSOM: Uhhh quick! Bubbles! Get a distraction apple!
MS. KEANE: FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOUR DISTRACTION APPLES
*Ms. Keane's class used distraction apples*
GIRLS: Ow!
HOTLINE: *PISSED OFF HOTLINE FACE*
BUTTERCUP: Okay, look Mayor, we've got this thing here with words on it that you should read. It's—
MAYOR: Nobody touches my pickle!
GIRLS: Uhhh...
BUBBLES: You know, taken out of context that's going to sound—
*Mayor chose Swat team*
*Mayor chose Ms. Bellum*
BLOSSOM: Wait, you can't send out two at once—
MS. BELLUM: *PISSED OFF MS. BELLUM FACE*
BUBBLES: This joke is wasted on everybody.
*Swat team chose automatic rifles*
*Ms. Bellum chose pistol*
GIRLS: Annnnd now we are going to go do stuff that doesn't involve getting shot at.
*Girls got away safely!*
GIRLS: Professor!
BUBBLES: A kitty scratched me!
BLOSSOM: Ms. Keane's an old hag!
BUTTERCUP: NOBODY IS READING OUR GOD DAMN TERM SHEET!
PROFESSOR: *PISSED OFF PROFESSOR FACE*
BLOSSOM: AUGH FUCK THAT IS NOT NIGHTMARE RETARDANT IN THE LEAST
AUDIENCE: Brb, having nightmares
TOWNSPEOPLE: *PISSED OFF TOWNSPEOPLE FACES*
PROFESSOR: You guys are doing it wrong.
BLOSSOM: What happened to free love, man?
HIM: Professor! I got all the free love you need, right here.
BLOSSOM: OMG
BUBBLES: It's that guy
BUTTERCUP: With that thing
HIM: For the Professor! Hold me, darling. *LICK*
GIRLS: DDDDDDD8
AUDIENCE: DDDDDDD8!!!!!!!!!
AUDIENCE: WHAAAAAAT
AUDIENCE: THE FUUUUUUUCK
GIRLS: NOT COOL DUDE THAT IS OUR DAD
CHILDREN IN THE AUDIENCE: We're going to be having nightmares about this later.
ADULTS IN THE AUDIENCE: Ditto.
HIM: Girls, I changed my mind! There shall be no nasty rumors of you on Facebook! Call me Mom. I will make you cookies and braid your hair and hug you all to pieces.
BLOSSOM: Not braids! I'll look like Pippi Longstocking!
BUTTERCUP: Not hugs! I'll be engaging in human contact!
BUBBLES: Yay! Cookies!
HIM: They will be oatmeal raisin!
BUBBLES: Nooooooooo! I take it back!
HIM: Christ you brats are picky! Mind your Mother!
GIRLS: DNW
HIM: Oh for crying out loud!
*Him used Townspeople*
BLOSSOM/BUBBLES: Ow!
*It's super effective!*
BUTTERCUP: Pft. Against bitches.
*Buttercup used old lady cane*
BLOSSOM: What are you doing?!
BUBBLES: We can't hurt them!
BUTTERCUP: Sure we can. See? It's covered in the term sheet THAT NO ONE WILL FUCKING READ.
BUBBLES: Oh. Sweet.
BLOSSOM: You have been impressively thorough with this thing. But doesn't it need signatures to make it official—
*Bubbles used bitch kick*
BUBBLES: SUCK THAT, GARFIELD
BLOSSOM: Never mind.
*Girls used Whoopass*
*It's super effective!*
AUDIENCE: Yay! ...Dude is that guy's leg broken?
BLOSSOM: Take a hike, Him!
BUTTERCUP: Yeah, there's enough estrogen in the house as it is.
HIM: RUDE. W/E, bitches. Long live the Queen. P.S. I LICKED YOUR DAD.
GIRLS: *SAD LITTLE GIRL FACES*
TOWNSPEOPLE: We aren't mad at you, but you realize those expressions are wasted on people whose faces are too swollen to see shit.
BUTTERCUP: For the record, I would've enjoyed beating you guys up a lot less if you'd just read our term sheet.
BLOSSOM/BUBBLES: Truth.
I will, however, leave you with this.
Tough Love Synopsis (sbj style)
Warning: Should probably be avoided at all costs by people who are easily offended by excessive cursing. Although if that's the case then I have absolutely no idea why you stick around to read my journal.
based on a suggestion by
spikerocksmysoxNARRATOR: Free love, baby! That's how we play it here in Townsville. Men, women, sisters, you name it. Yeah, you heard me. Sisters lovin' it up. We're going to Hell, but we're enjoying the ride.
THE GIRLS: We are pretty sure free love has nothing to do with incest. Really. Look it up.
OLD LADY: Kitty that is a tree, get out of there! Trees are not for cats. Where will you put the litterbox? Why didn't you think of that before you got up there?
KITTY: Meow! (Translation: I DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND ENGLISH YOU FUCKING IDIOT JUST GET ME OUT OF THE GOD DAMN TREE)
BUTTERCUP: Oh awesome I love ripping trees out of the ground
BUBBLES: No I can just grab—
BUTTERCUP: *rips tree out of the ground*
BUBBLES: Okay yeah I guess that works too. Kitty!
BLOSSOM: Oh awesome I love picking up old ladies
OLD LADY: No I can just stay down—
BLOSSOM: *picks up old lady*
OLD LADY: Okay yeah I guess that works too. Kitty!
BUTTERCUP: You're familiar with our service fees, yes?
OLD LADY: Head pats for everyone!
BUTTERCUP: Has anyone in Townsville bothered reading our term sheet? You're all getting a massive invoice later.
MS. KEANE: *slips on a roller skate, which totally belongs in a Kindergarten classroom, I mean, that's not a disaster waiting to happen or anything*
BLOSSOM: Oh awesome I love picking up old ladies
MS KEANE: Thank God! I could've broken—wait what
BLOSSOM: Uhhh quick somebody get a distraction apple
*Bubbles used distraction apple*
MS. KEANE: 8DDDDD
*It's super effective!*
(Note: The apple is friggin' huge, I'm not kidding, watch the ep)
MAYOR: God damn this pickle jar, God damn it to hell—
MS. BELLUM: Sir, let me just—
MAYOR: *on the Hotline* Girls! Emergency!
MS. BELLUM: You know, even though it's hanging right on the wall in my house, I don't even look at my Masters Degree in Political Science anymore. It's too depressing.
BUTTERCUP: Have you read our term sheet, Mayor?
BLOSSOM: Don't ask rhetorical questions, Buttercup.
BUTTERCUP: No seriously, people better start reading this shit or I am going to start breaking legs.
*Bubbles used open jar*
MAYOR: 8DDDDD
*It's super effective!*
GIRLS: Professor! We are here to help you with science!
PROFESSOR: Sure! That sounds like an AWESOME IDEA.
GIRLS: We are good at science!
*Girls actually suck at science*
HIM (AKA BAMF): Damn it! That could be me doing science with the Professor!
AUDIENCE: ... Why is this dude watching them while he is naked in the bath.
HIM: Stupid girls ruin everything!
AUDIENCE: Is that a girl or a guy? I guess since you can see its nipples it must be the latter.
HIM: Ducky! You understand my pain.
AUDIENCE: Okay some of us are uncomfortable now
HIM: Augh! How can I make him notice meeee—
AUDIENCE: Um did we just see heels
HIM: I know! I'm going to spread nasty rumors about those sluts on Facebook! Oh, I'm so clever! This totally calls for a Little Mermaid moment!
AUDIENCE: Okay, everybody is really uncomfortable now.
HIM: Oh, ohhh it's magic! You know~!
AUDIENCE: Were those tentacles? We think we just saw tentacles. This is officially the creepiest episode ever.
BUBBLES: Kitty!
BUTTERCUP: Term sheet! Read it! I made copies!
KITTY: *PISSED OFF CAT FACE*
OLD LADY: *PISSED OFF OLD LADY FACE*
*Kitty used scratch*
BUBBLES: Ow!
*Old lady used cane*
GIRLS: Ow!
BUTTERCUP: ALL I DID WAS ASK YOU TO READ IT, GOD
MS. KEANE: Enough of this special treatment! Regular kids get tardies! You're getting tardies too!
BLOSSOM: Excuse me, but regular kids do not go around thwarting crime and rescuing kitties and saving the world and stuff.
BUTTERCUP: This is covered in our term sheet. Here, I made copies.
MS. KEANE: Sit your asses down!
BLOSSOM: Why do women get all bitchy when they get older?
MS. KEANE: SAY THAT A LITTLE LOUDER, I DIDN'T HEAR YOU
BLOSSOM: Uhhh quick! Bubbles! Get a distraction apple!
MS. KEANE: FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOUR DISTRACTION APPLES
*Ms. Keane's class used distraction apples*
GIRLS: Ow!
HOTLINE: *PISSED OFF HOTLINE FACE*
BUTTERCUP: Okay, look Mayor, we've got this thing here with words on it that you should read. It's—
MAYOR: Nobody touches my pickle!
GIRLS: Uhhh...
BUBBLES: You know, taken out of context that's going to sound—
*Mayor chose Swat team*
*Mayor chose Ms. Bellum*
BLOSSOM: Wait, you can't send out two at once—
MS. BELLUM: *PISSED OFF MS. BELLUM FACE*
BUBBLES: This joke is wasted on everybody.
*Swat team chose automatic rifles*
*Ms. Bellum chose pistol*
GIRLS: Annnnd now we are going to go do stuff that doesn't involve getting shot at.
*Girls got away safely!*
GIRLS: Professor!
BUBBLES: A kitty scratched me!
BLOSSOM: Ms. Keane's an old hag!
BUTTERCUP: NOBODY IS READING OUR GOD DAMN TERM SHEET!
PROFESSOR: *PISSED OFF PROFESSOR FACE*
BLOSSOM: AUGH FUCK THAT IS NOT NIGHTMARE RETARDANT IN THE LEAST
AUDIENCE: Brb, having nightmares
TOWNSPEOPLE: *PISSED OFF TOWNSPEOPLE FACES*
PROFESSOR: You guys are doing it wrong.
BLOSSOM: What happened to free love, man?
HIM: Professor! I got all the free love you need, right here.
BLOSSOM: OMG
BUBBLES: It's that guy
BUTTERCUP: With that thing
HIM: For the Professor! Hold me, darling. *LICK*
GIRLS: DDDDDDD8
AUDIENCE: DDDDDDD8!!!!!!!!!
AUDIENCE: WHAAAAAAT
AUDIENCE: THE FUUUUUUUCK
GIRLS: NOT COOL DUDE THAT IS OUR DAD
CHILDREN IN THE AUDIENCE: We're going to be having nightmares about this later.
ADULTS IN THE AUDIENCE: Ditto.
HIM: Girls, I changed my mind! There shall be no nasty rumors of you on Facebook! Call me Mom. I will make you cookies and braid your hair and hug you all to pieces.
BLOSSOM: Not braids! I'll look like Pippi Longstocking!
BUTTERCUP: Not hugs! I'll be engaging in human contact!
BUBBLES: Yay! Cookies!
HIM: They will be oatmeal raisin!
BUBBLES: Nooooooooo! I take it back!
HIM: Christ you brats are picky! Mind your Mother!
GIRLS: DNW
HIM: Oh for crying out loud!
*Him used Townspeople*
BLOSSOM/BUBBLES: Ow!
*It's super effective!*
BUTTERCUP: Pft. Against bitches.
*Buttercup used old lady cane*
BLOSSOM: What are you doing?!
BUBBLES: We can't hurt them!
BUTTERCUP: Sure we can. See? It's covered in the term sheet THAT NO ONE WILL FUCKING READ.
BUBBLES: Oh. Sweet.
BLOSSOM: You have been impressively thorough with this thing. But doesn't it need signatures to make it official—
*Bubbles used bitch kick*
BUBBLES: SUCK THAT, GARFIELD
BLOSSOM: Never mind.
*Girls used Whoopass*
*It's super effective!*
AUDIENCE: Yay! ...Dude is that guy's leg broken?
BLOSSOM: Take a hike, Him!
BUTTERCUP: Yeah, there's enough estrogen in the house as it is.
HIM: RUDE. W/E, bitches. Long live the Queen. P.S. I LICKED YOUR DAD.
GIRLS: *SAD LITTLE GIRL FACES*
TOWNSPEOPLE: We aren't mad at you, but you realize those expressions are wasted on people whose faces are too swollen to see shit.
BUTTERCUP: For the record, I would've enjoyed beating you guys up a lot less if you'd just read our term sheet.
BLOSSOM/BUBBLES: Truth.