i know you probably wrote this as just a rant to get everything out there, but i do have some opinions regarding kids shows and sex.
i went to catholic school, sex ed was a joke (and a no-no topic) and my resources were severely limited as to how to properly get a sex education. i have to say, fanfiction taught me MUCH more than school ever did. coming from a very conservative household, even movies and TV shows with implied sex was something to be ashamed of watching/ enjoying. Of course, my parents wanted to keep our minds "pure" until the very last moment they could. what they didn't know is that i was reading smut at a fairly young age (not that that's not inherently problematic, but kids will find ways to get the answers they seek, especially when they are told to keep away from a specific/ forbidden subject) and informing myself with sex is supposed to be like between two people who loved each other, not just masturbated using someone else's body. granted, there were plenty of works out there that were blatantly misogynistic and some others that were more subliminal (and a reflection of the social perception of women and sex of the time), but most of the works i read helped from my view of sex as a generally positive experience.
Now, i do have to emphasize that i never read fanfiction for a cartoon aimed at the ages of 6-11, more like anime for young teens, but it still severed the purpose i sought. i think being able to read about your favorite characters engaging in something that is such a sensitive issue like sex, or love, or becoming adults would be helpful for those who do not have a supportive environment at home or elsewhere. as a tween ( i hate that term), i didn't have access to adults or older, more responsible authority figures that i could comfortably go to in case i had a question regarding sexuality. i'm not saying that mature fanfiction should be used as a substitution or even a pseudo sex-education class, but at least as a free resource that is available for those who are looking for answers.
it helped that i often sought out works that were based on respect and love, but that's also because i was trying to fill that gap in my personal life. i know not all young fans are going to actively look for the more responsible depictions of sex/ sexual interaction or know how to identify abuse at first glance, but i choose to believe that most of them are conscientious enough to turn away from the problematic fics and find others that align with their morals. young people are a lot more perceptive and intelligent than most adults give them credit for. they'll know when something crosses the line, even though it might not be immediate. they'll know what's healthy, especially based on the growing sex-positive movements that are being enforced by my generation and the generation before ours. i think it helps to reinforce the notion of consent and normalize sexual urges as a means to support the sex-positivity movement. therefore, if they're going to be looking for answers in unusual places like i and so many people i know did, at least they'll have some resources that are written by those of us who choose not to write abuse or problematic scenes unless we are underscoring the damages caused by those types of actions. even then, something with explicit descriptions of abuse, for me, is going too far and those scenes work as nothing but gratuitous depictions of violence.
in summary, i think it's okay to write mature content for a fandom that is aimed towards younger audiences as long as they are written responsibly and with the heart of the series in mind. from what i have gathered from all my years on the internet is that fanfiction tends to be a more tender and positive depiction of sex than fanart. fanart often provides a snapshot of a sexual moment, most of the time drawn from a misogynistic perspective or for a misogynistic audience, focusing on objectification, rather than the more subtle aspects of sex. also, sexual acts are context-dependent; having a written story provide the groundwork for the conversation that is sex could be a lot more beneficial than just a drawing or a short comic with graphic depictions of sexual acts. that's just my take on it though, written entirely based on how i perceive sex and how my own curiosities fueled the type of content i consumed / allowed myself to consume.
changing topics entirely, getting married is exciting, but also a huge commitment. but if you've been with this person for 16+ years, there must be something that makes you want to see them every day. there must be something about them that makes you want to keep them in your life. you'll know the proper thing to do. don't overthink it. whatever you two choose, it will all turn out for the best.
no subject
i went to catholic school, sex ed was a joke (and a no-no topic) and my resources were severely limited as to how to properly get a sex education. i have to say, fanfiction taught me MUCH more than school ever did. coming from a very conservative household, even movies and TV shows with implied sex was something to be ashamed of watching/ enjoying. Of course, my parents wanted to keep our minds "pure" until the very last moment they could. what they didn't know is that i was reading smut at a fairly young age (not that that's not inherently problematic, but kids will find ways to get the answers they seek, especially when they are told to keep away from a specific/ forbidden subject) and informing myself with sex is supposed to be like between two people who loved each other, not just masturbated using someone else's body. granted, there were plenty of works out there that were blatantly misogynistic and some others that were more subliminal (and a reflection of the social perception of women and sex of the time), but most of the works i read helped from my view of sex as a generally positive experience.
Now, i do have to emphasize that i never read fanfiction for a cartoon aimed at the ages of 6-11, more like anime for young teens, but it still severed the purpose i sought. i think being able to read about your favorite characters engaging in something that is such a sensitive issue like sex, or love, or becoming adults would be helpful for those who do not have a supportive environment at home or elsewhere. as a tween ( i hate that term), i didn't have access to adults or older, more responsible authority figures that i could comfortably go to in case i had a question regarding sexuality. i'm not saying that mature fanfiction should be used as a substitution or even a pseudo sex-education class, but at least as a free resource that is available for those who are looking for answers.
it helped that i often sought out works that were based on respect and love, but that's also because i was trying to fill that gap in my personal life. i know not all young fans are going to actively look for the more responsible depictions of sex/ sexual interaction or know how to identify abuse at first glance, but i choose to believe that most of them are conscientious enough to turn away from the problematic fics and find others that align with their morals. young people are a lot more perceptive and intelligent than most adults give them credit for. they'll know when something crosses the line, even though it might not be immediate. they'll know what's healthy, especially based on the growing sex-positive movements that are being enforced by my generation and the generation before ours. i think it helps to reinforce the notion of consent and normalize sexual urges as a means to support the sex-positivity movement. therefore, if they're going to be looking for answers in unusual places like i and so many people i know did, at least they'll have some resources that are written by those of us who choose not to write abuse or problematic scenes unless we are underscoring the damages caused by those types of actions. even then, something with explicit descriptions of abuse, for me, is going too far and those scenes work as nothing but gratuitous depictions of violence.
in summary, i think it's okay to write mature content for a fandom that is aimed towards younger audiences as long as they are written responsibly and with the heart of the series in mind. from what i have gathered from all my years on the internet is that fanfiction tends to be a more tender and positive depiction of sex than fanart. fanart often provides a snapshot of a sexual moment, most of the time drawn from a misogynistic perspective or for a misogynistic audience, focusing on objectification, rather than the more subtle aspects of sex. also, sexual acts are context-dependent; having a written story provide the groundwork for the conversation that is sex could be a lot more beneficial than just a drawing or a short comic with graphic depictions of sexual acts. that's just my take on it though, written entirely based on how i perceive sex and how my own curiosities fueled the type of content i consumed / allowed myself to consume.
changing topics entirely, getting married is exciting, but also a huge commitment. but if you've been with this person for 16+ years, there must be something that makes you want to see them every day. there must be something about them that makes you want to keep them in your life. you'll know the proper thing to do. don't overthink it. whatever you two choose, it will all turn out for the best.