NO WIFIN' IN DA CLUB
Quick TEF-related things: OMG. OMG. OMG. ♥♥♥ Will update the sticky soon with all the gloooooorious fanart! I ♥ you all xoxo
Now! The POINT of this entry. After this post from![[profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
hermeown, stuff kinda happened in my brain, as it is wont to do. And, uh. Uh. Some of you may also recall that I mentioned I was super amused at the thought of Him moving the boys in with Mojo so they can all play the Perfect Nuclear Family Game. Probably more amused than is healthy.
And then this is what my brain did. No thanks tohermeown. General warnings for inappropriate language/behavior. You know, my usual.
HIM: Boys, you're getting a babysitter.
BRICK: Whatever.
BOOMER: Yay! New friend!
BUTCH: Is she hot?
HIM: Butch, don't be rude. It's a he.
BOOMER: Is he hot?
BRICK/BUTCH: What is wrong with you.
HIM: Well, he is very dapper.
*Him opens the front door with a flourish to reveal...*
SLENDY: ...
BOYS: ...
HIM: Boys, meet your Uncle Slendy!
BRICK: Where is your face? Why are your arms so long?
BUTCH: Did your mom try to abort you or something?
HIM: BUTCH DON'T BE RUDE.
BOOMER: Uncle Slendy! *glomps*
HIM: Oh, you're so good with kids!
*crickets.*
SLENDY: *pantomimes to Him that he has to deal with kids at work all the time and he really doesn't want to do this*
HIM: Ha! Don't be silly. You'll be fine.
SLENDY: *but*
HIM: I AM WITH THESE KIDS 24/7. I HAVE NOT HAD A DAY OFF IN MONTHS. YOU ARE GOING TO WATCH THESE BOYS OR SO HELP ME--
SLENDY: *sufficiently cowed, complies*
BOOMER: What do you want to do, Uncle Slendy?
SLENDY: *tries to motion to Boomer not to call him that*
BRICK: Can you actually see with no eyes?
BOOMER: You have no eyes! I can fix it! *draws a face on Slendy*
SLENDY: *sighs*
BOOMER: Now you can see! *holds up mirror*
SLENDY: *stares at the misshapen five-year-old face that has been drawn on him, then tries to rub the marker off*
BRICK: Dude, that's not going to work. *hands Slendy Boomer's marker*
SLENDY: *stares at it, it's a Sharpie*
SLENDY: *sighs*
BOOMER: I'll go get you a towel! *runs off*
BRICK: Bored now. *wanders off*
BUTCH: You need a tattoo.
SLENDY: *does not want a tattoo*
BUTCH: *marks up Slendy's face* There you go.
SLENDY: *sighs*
BOOMER: *returns with towel in hand, pauses to stare at Slendy's face*
SLENDY: *???*
BOOMER: What's that on your face?
SLENDY: *picks up mirror to discover Butch has drawn balls*
SLENDY: ...
SLENDY: *sighs as Boomer draws a tear for him*
BOOMER: Let's play hide and seek!
SLENDY: *trying to scrub the last of his face off with the towel*
BOOMER: We'll hide and you'll seek us!
BUTCH/BOOMER: *run off*
BRICK: *watches TV*
SLENDY: *stares at Brick, then goes up to him and taps him*
BRICK: *in a monotone* Oh no, you found me.
SLENDY: *stands and stares*
BRICK: *flips channels*
SLENDY: *sighs*
SLENDY: *seeking Butch and Boomer*
MOJO: Hey! You! Babysitter!
SLENDY: *???*
MOJO: I require assistance and you possess particular... "attributes" that will greatly assist me in my endeavors.
SLENDY: *thinking this is an evil scheme, wanders over*
MOJO: *leads him to the kitchen and points* Get that pan off the top shelf for me.
SLENDY: *sighs*
MOJO: Also the flour... Wait, are those balls on your face?
BOOMER/BUTCH: We're tired of hiding!
BOOMER: Let's go ride a rollercoaster!
BRICK: Holla.
BUTCH: Sweet!
SLENDY: *does not like rollercoasters*
*Boys and Slendy go to ride a rollercoaster*
SLENDY: *sighs as the lap bar comes down*
*Slendy is too tall and his limbs are too long for the ride, he gets beat to shit throughout the whole thing*
BOOMER: Let's go see our picture! Aww, Uncle Slendy, you didn't smile.
SLENDY: *sighs*
SLENDY: *holding multiple ice packs with multiple arms against various wounds of his*
BOOMER: Uncle Slendy I made you a blog!
SLENDY: *???*
BRICK: I think these things are called Slendyblogs.
BOOMER: *holds up his laptop* See?
*The picture at the top is Slendy's unfortunate rollercoaster photo. The next is the face Boomer (and Butch) "drew" for him.*
SLENDY: *reputation is destroyed*
SLENDY: *sighs*
MOJO: Hey! You! Babysitter!
SLENDY: *???*
MOJO: I require assistance in my laboratory and you possess particular... "attributes" that will greatly assist me.
SLENDY: *curious*
*FIVE MINUTES LATER SLENDY IS STANDING NEXT TO MOJO AS WORKS ON A GIANT ASS WEAPON HOLDING A BUNCH OF TOOLS WITH HIS MANY ARMS*
MOJO: *holding his hand out* Power drill.
SLENDY: *sighs*
BOOMER: More hide and seek! Brick, Uncle Slendy caught you first. You're it.
BRICK: *counts*
BOOMER/BUTCH/SLENDY: *go hide in the park*
SLENDY: *good at hiding, goes to hide in the woodsy area of the park*
*HOURS LATER*
BRICK: Dude where is this guy.
SLENDY: *getting bored*
BUBBLES: Hello!
SLENDY: *wtf, looks down at her*
BUBBLES: Wow, you're tall.
PROFESSOR: Bubbles! I--OH GOD. BUBBLES. BUBBLES DON'T MOVE.
BUBBLES: Professor?
PROFESSOR: *inches up, snatches Bubbles and flings a folded bill at Slendy* Here! *RUNS LIKE A NINJA ON A MISSION*
SLENDY: *unfolds the bill, it is a 20*
SLENDY: *sighs*
*Nighttime and the boys still have not found Slendy*
SLENDY: *really bored now*
HIM: What are you doing here?
SLENDY: *hide and seek*
HIM: The boys came home hours ago. Where the hell have you been? You know how hard it is to find you? Why do you even bother having a cell phone if you're not going to bring it anywhere?
SLENDY: *has a cell phone, tugs it out*
*90 missed calls*
*It is on silent*
SLENDY: *sighs*
HIM: Please go put the boys to bed.
*Boys are bouncing up and down on their bed*
BUTCH: We're not sleepy!
BRICK: Entertain us!
BOOMER: Ooh can you do shadow puppets?!
SLENDY: *yes*
SLENDY: *snatches them with his multi-arms and tucks them in bed*
BOOMER: Shadow puppets! Shadow puppets!
SLENDY: *points a lamp at the wall and uses his multi-hands to form a distressing looking Cthulhu silhouette*
BOYS: Uhhh...
BOOMER: Do something else.
SLENDY: *forms a spider*
BOYS: Uhhh...
BOOMER: Something else?
SLENDY: *stares at them, makes a simple wolf with one hand*
BRICK: Dude you suck at this. Let me show you how it's done.
BRICK: *sticks his mitt in the spotlight, waggles it*
BOOMER/BUTCH: It's a wolf!
BRICK: Bingo.
SLENDY: *stares at the straight-up silhouette of Brick's mitt*
SLENDY: *sighs*
MOJO: Hey! You! Babysitter! I require assistance and you possess particular--
SLENDY: *ignores him*
BUTCH: Hey Uncle Slendy I changed your ringtone so you can actually hear your calls.
SLENDY: *???*
BUTCH: Check it out. *dials Slendy's number*
*ringtone*
SLENDY: ...
SLENDY: *sighs*
*Slendy getting ready to leave*
BOOMER: Uncle Slendy I changed your cell phone wallpaper. I hope that's okay.
SLENDY: *checks*
*Boomer has uploaded a picture he drew of him and his brothers each holding one of their Uncle Slendy's hands*
SLENDY: ...
BOOMER: Bye Uncle Slendy!
SLENDY: ...
SLENDY: *bye*
BOOMER: Come back soon okay?
SLENDY: ...
SLENDY: *okay.*
And later on when Brick is older he can hit Uncle Slendy up for stalking tips
For those of you who are familiar with the Mythos and related memes, you probably got more out of this than the average reader. *FISTBUMP*
Now! The POINT of this entry. After this post from
hermeown, stuff kinda happened in my brain, as it is wont to do. And, uh. Uh. Some of you may also recall that I mentioned I was super amused at the thought of Him moving the boys in with Mojo so they can all play the Perfect Nuclear Family Game. Probably more amused than is healthy.And then this is what my brain did. No thanks to
hermeown. General warnings for inappropriate language/behavior. You know, my usual.HIM: Boys, you're getting a babysitter.
BRICK: Whatever.
BOOMER: Yay! New friend!
BUTCH: Is she hot?
HIM: Butch, don't be rude. It's a he.
BOOMER: Is he hot?
BRICK/BUTCH: What is wrong with you.
HIM: Well, he is very dapper.
*Him opens the front door with a flourish to reveal...*
SLENDY: ...
BOYS: ...
HIM: Boys, meet your Uncle Slendy!
BRICK: Where is your face? Why are your arms so long?
BUTCH: Did your mom try to abort you or something?
HIM: BUTCH DON'T BE RUDE.
BOOMER: Uncle Slendy! *glomps*
HIM: Oh, you're so good with kids!
*crickets.*
SLENDY: *pantomimes to Him that he has to deal with kids at work all the time and he really doesn't want to do this*
HIM: Ha! Don't be silly. You'll be fine.
SLENDY: *but*
HIM: I AM WITH THESE KIDS 24/7. I HAVE NOT HAD A DAY OFF IN MONTHS. YOU ARE GOING TO WATCH THESE BOYS OR SO HELP ME--
SLENDY: *sufficiently cowed, complies*
BOOMER: What do you want to do, Uncle Slendy?
SLENDY: *tries to motion to Boomer not to call him that*
BRICK: Can you actually see with no eyes?
BOOMER: You have no eyes! I can fix it! *draws a face on Slendy*
SLENDY: *sighs*
BOOMER: Now you can see! *holds up mirror*
SLENDY: *stares at the misshapen five-year-old face that has been drawn on him, then tries to rub the marker off*
BRICK: Dude, that's not going to work. *hands Slendy Boomer's marker*
SLENDY: *stares at it, it's a Sharpie*
SLENDY: *sighs*
BOOMER: I'll go get you a towel! *runs off*
BRICK: Bored now. *wanders off*
BUTCH: You need a tattoo.
SLENDY: *does not want a tattoo*
BUTCH: *marks up Slendy's face* There you go.
SLENDY: *sighs*
BOOMER: *returns with towel in hand, pauses to stare at Slendy's face*
SLENDY: *???*
BOOMER: What's that on your face?
SLENDY: *picks up mirror to discover Butch has drawn balls*
SLENDY: ...
SLENDY: *sighs as Boomer draws a tear for him*
BOOMER: Let's play hide and seek!
SLENDY: *trying to scrub the last of his face off with the towel*
BOOMER: We'll hide and you'll seek us!
BUTCH/BOOMER: *run off*
BRICK: *watches TV*
SLENDY: *stares at Brick, then goes up to him and taps him*
BRICK: *in a monotone* Oh no, you found me.
SLENDY: *stands and stares*
BRICK: *flips channels*
SLENDY: *sighs*
SLENDY: *seeking Butch and Boomer*
MOJO: Hey! You! Babysitter!
SLENDY: *???*
MOJO: I require assistance and you possess particular... "attributes" that will greatly assist me in my endeavors.
SLENDY: *thinking this is an evil scheme, wanders over*
MOJO: *leads him to the kitchen and points* Get that pan off the top shelf for me.
SLENDY: *sighs*
MOJO: Also the flour... Wait, are those balls on your face?
BOOMER/BUTCH: We're tired of hiding!
BOOMER: Let's go ride a rollercoaster!
BRICK: Holla.
BUTCH: Sweet!
SLENDY: *does not like rollercoasters*
*Boys and Slendy go to ride a rollercoaster*
SLENDY: *sighs as the lap bar comes down*
*Slendy is too tall and his limbs are too long for the ride, he gets beat to shit throughout the whole thing*
BOOMER: Let's go see our picture! Aww, Uncle Slendy, you didn't smile.
SLENDY: *sighs*
SLENDY: *holding multiple ice packs with multiple arms against various wounds of his*
BOOMER: Uncle Slendy I made you a blog!
SLENDY: *???*
BRICK: I think these things are called Slendyblogs.
BOOMER: *holds up his laptop* See?
*The picture at the top is Slendy's unfortunate rollercoaster photo. The next is the face Boomer (and Butch) "drew" for him.*
SLENDY: *reputation is destroyed*
SLENDY: *sighs*
MOJO: Hey! You! Babysitter!
SLENDY: *???*
MOJO: I require assistance in my laboratory and you possess particular... "attributes" that will greatly assist me.
SLENDY: *curious*
*FIVE MINUTES LATER SLENDY IS STANDING NEXT TO MOJO AS WORKS ON A GIANT ASS WEAPON HOLDING A BUNCH OF TOOLS WITH HIS MANY ARMS*
MOJO: *holding his hand out* Power drill.
SLENDY: *sighs*
BOOMER: More hide and seek! Brick, Uncle Slendy caught you first. You're it.
BRICK: *counts*
BOOMER/BUTCH/SLENDY: *go hide in the park*
SLENDY: *good at hiding, goes to hide in the woodsy area of the park*
*HOURS LATER*
BRICK: Dude where is this guy.
SLENDY: *getting bored*
BUBBLES: Hello!
SLENDY: *wtf, looks down at her*
BUBBLES: Wow, you're tall.
PROFESSOR: Bubbles! I--OH GOD. BUBBLES. BUBBLES DON'T MOVE.
BUBBLES: Professor?
PROFESSOR: *inches up, snatches Bubbles and flings a folded bill at Slendy* Here! *RUNS LIKE A NINJA ON A MISSION*
SLENDY: *unfolds the bill, it is a 20*
SLENDY: *sighs*
*Nighttime and the boys still have not found Slendy*
SLENDY: *really bored now*
HIM: What are you doing here?
SLENDY: *hide and seek*
HIM: The boys came home hours ago. Where the hell have you been? You know how hard it is to find you? Why do you even bother having a cell phone if you're not going to bring it anywhere?
SLENDY: *has a cell phone, tugs it out*
*90 missed calls*
*It is on silent*
SLENDY: *sighs*
HIM: Please go put the boys to bed.
*Boys are bouncing up and down on their bed*
BUTCH: We're not sleepy!
BRICK: Entertain us!
BOOMER: Ooh can you do shadow puppets?!
SLENDY: *yes*
SLENDY: *snatches them with his multi-arms and tucks them in bed*
BOOMER: Shadow puppets! Shadow puppets!
SLENDY: *points a lamp at the wall and uses his multi-hands to form a distressing looking Cthulhu silhouette*
BOYS: Uhhh...
BOOMER: Do something else.
SLENDY: *forms a spider*
BOYS: Uhhh...
BOOMER: Something else?
SLENDY: *stares at them, makes a simple wolf with one hand*
BRICK: Dude you suck at this. Let me show you how it's done.
BRICK: *sticks his mitt in the spotlight, waggles it*
BOOMER/BUTCH: It's a wolf!
BRICK: Bingo.
SLENDY: *stares at the straight-up silhouette of Brick's mitt*
SLENDY: *sighs*
MOJO: Hey! You! Babysitter! I require assistance and you possess particular--
SLENDY: *ignores him*
BUTCH: Hey Uncle Slendy I changed your ringtone so you can actually hear your calls.
SLENDY: *???*
BUTCH: Check it out. *dials Slendy's number*
*ringtone*
SLENDY: ...
SLENDY: *sighs*
*Slendy getting ready to leave*
BOOMER: Uncle Slendy I changed your cell phone wallpaper. I hope that's okay.
SLENDY: *checks*
*Boomer has uploaded a picture he drew of him and his brothers each holding one of their Uncle Slendy's hands*
SLENDY: ...
BOOMER: Bye Uncle Slendy!
SLENDY: ...
SLENDY: *bye*
BOOMER: Come back soon okay?
SLENDY: ...
SLENDY: *okay.*
And later on when Brick is older he can hit Uncle Slendy up for stalking tips
For those of you who are familiar with the Mythos and related memes, you probably got more out of this than the average reader. *FISTBUMP*