essbeejay: saving the world. (Default)
Unfortunately the chat I was alluding to in my previous entry - the one I was hoping to do at the end of this month - will have to get pushed back. I'm going to have to spend the end of this month traveling overseas for a funeral instead.

I found out early yesterday morning and was debating whether or not to say anything. I can't help but feel like mentioning it at all is some twisty cry for attention on my part no matter how cathartic it might actually be. Especially considering the whole reluctant BNF thing. But my mood's also been all over the place since yesterday morning and there's a good chance I could hulk out or at the very least say something really pissy and hurtful if I don't at least acknowledge it. So. This is me, acknowledging it. I don't know how hard it is to picture, but all the angry, emotional, soap-opera-esque intensity of FEELING there is in TEF with all the various characters? The stuff that you've read and the stuff that's forthcoming? I don't know what I'm saying. Maybe just that I spend a lot of time there. And I get people saying How are you able to write these characters this way, asking me how I do it so well, and that's the problem, I don't actually feel like I do it well, because I'm just writing how I feel, and most of the time I feel angry. I feel angry and pissy and bitter all the fucking time. And that's basically all I'm doing, is cordoning off all these individual bits and pieces of this me-monster into different people. I don't know. It's nothing special. Everybody on this planet is angry and pissy and bitter, all the fucking time, just like me. I'm not doing anything different, besides maybe writing it down and shoving into a bunch of cartoon characters, I guess. That's all. Sorry about the angst. I thought it was something you outgrew, but not really, huh? It just gets channeled into all these other little parts of yourself and festers like this little rotten thing inside you instead of going all Harry Potter Book 5.

Anyway. I've been planning a couple of posts for a while. I'm determined to get through as many questions as I can this weekend (and I'm not forcing myself, really, I'll have the time and things to fill my time are good for me right now) and I've been working on and off on a semi-detailed rundown of my various TEF!playlists. The Blues are up first, because, well, they start with "B" and that comes before "G" and "R." It turned into more of a project than I expected it to; you'll see what I mean. Then there's other stuff that I'm not calling to mind at the moment. Oh! A few days ago I thought about doing something special, inspired by the (fake) strangers kissing vid that went viral earlier this week. Maybe in April. We'll see.

For the record, if anyone offers their sympathies, I really do appreciate it, but I'd rather you commented with a link to something funny or happy or fluffy. Something to make me smile. I wallow enough as it is and sympathy only tends to enable that, which isn't healthy for me. In fact, let's make that a rule for the comments on this post! Something happy/fluffy/funny, if not all of the above!

(Speaking of happy things, the recent fanart by waffleswithketchup posted to the fanblog and lockwoodspenis' TEF re-read liveblog! Those things make me so happy. Thanks guys ♥ I'm very sorry to have immortalized these shout-outs in a post filled with my whinging.)
essbeejay: i'm happy and i'm driving! (i'm happy and i'm driving!)
Okay firstly, apologies to anyone who missed the chat! I could do another one, if folks are interested :) I'm thinking that might be a good format for an AMA in the future, too, since I don't have as much time to do the voice posts these days. If anyone's interested in that sort of thing, or just a general chat, or another round of what happened today (which was pretty much RANDOM ASS FUCKERY, tbh) let me know! Maybe I'll even do *gasp* A POLL. Haven't exercised that tag for quite some time, after all.

As for today's chat, here's some fandom-related tomfoolery, or at least what I can remember:
  • Buttercup goes to karaoke and kills it when she raps
  • But then she hands it to Blossom as a joke, who FUCKING MURDERS
  • And throws the mic at Butch's face when she finishes her killing spree
  • Blossom: *drops the mic, looks at Buttercup* Pick that up. (courtesy of [profile] philosophic_wax)
  • Buttercup and Bubbles secretly tape Blossom practicing to Mariah Carey's "Touch My Body" (ft. The Dream), then overlay the tape with this audio (courtesy of [profile] xjabooo) and play it at their birthday party, much to Blossom's mortification
  • Butch laughs hysterically but gets turned on anyway MUCH TO HIS CHAGRIN
  • Brick is not turned on but instead sees this as brilliant leverage to use against her later
  • Brick is overwhelmingly the favorite RrB of those polled
  • [personal profile] busterella and [profile] quillbender win 1 million points for recognizing the significance of the chatroom's name ("Last night I had the strangest dream")
  • It seemed like a pretty dead-on tie between Him and Mojo for favorite villain
  • I put together a (v. short!) Spotify playlist of the songs that came up today here, with one bonus song. The songs relate to either one or all of the boys in some way.

I'm sure there's stuff I forgot (the chat was going a mile a millisecond, not remotely joking there), so if anybody who was present remembers something I failed to mention, feel free to yell at me about it in the comments! (Also if you shared a youtube vid or a song, please post those here in a comment! The chat was going so fast I never caught up on everything.

You guys, I had a hella good time this afternoon. I was genuinely looking forward to this chat all week and was so glad for the opportunity to hang with you! Thanks for rocking, hardcore Bubbles style. It was a total pleasure.

On a final note, "You're Next" was my favorite fucking film of 2013 and anyone else who saw it (which in the chat, I think amounted to exactly [profile] antihero_truheo) needs to come tell me so we can gush together about what a fucking fantastic movie that was. ESPECIALLY FOR LADIES WHO LIKE HORROR. FUCK YEAH.
essbeejay: wtf, wtf no, buttercup is max-unimpressed (wtf)
Stupid body keeps alternating between "Hey, you're feeling great!" and "HAHA FUCK YOU COUGH FOREVER NON-STOP MWAHAHAHAHA" which has really put a damper on several things, including putting together actual playlists to share for Sunday's chat.

So my apologies on that front. I had really wanted to get those done because I somehow doubt my ability to remain interesting in a conversation beyond the five-minute mark. Another time, another post! (Apologies to the few folks who asked for playlists, like, eleventy billion years ago. Hope another eleventy-billion-year-wait is okay!)

Just so no one feels completely disappointed in the failure of my physical person (seriously, FUCK THIS IMMUNE SYSTEM RIGHT NOW, I constantly put food in you and have actually been getting sleep lately, WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME BODY), because some folks seem very interested in sbj the person and because sbj the person is kind of a LURK-MYSTERIOUSLY-IN-THE-SHADOWS-FOREVER kinda lady, I decided to commission one of the few folks who has met me in person to draw a--and I am quoting myself here--"'me' avatar/icon/whatever the hip word for those things is these days." BECAUSE I AM ONE WITH THE YOUNG PEOPLE.

Check out her far-too-gorgeous rendition of me being my typical obsessive crazy self here.

(Trivia: the other option [profile] yssa proposed was me surrounded by cake. Which is a completely accurate depiction of my ultimate goal in life, next to fangirling the PpG forever and someday owning a pair of Christian Louboutins.)

And now to appease my body with gifts of hydration and activity that won't involve me staring down at a screen and giving myself neck pains! Everybody enjoy your Lunar New Year!
essbeejay: i'm happy and i'm driving! (hey joe whaddaya know)
(I originally wanted to title this entry "My ass is for sitting, not for kissing." (I've been watching a lot of Golden Era Simpsons lately.))

People are into doing a chat come Super Bowl Sunday, so let's do a chat! I mis-typed last week; rather than a livechat I'm just going to set up an old-school chatroom. I'm totally stealing [personal profile] busterella's established technique and am going to set up a room at, then I'll post a link to it the day of, probably sometime around the pre-game talk. So I'll be in the room probably around 3p-3:30p US PST. I may try to set up another time so any folks who can't hang out around then will have a chance to nerd out as well; I'll let you guys know if that can actually happen. Again, no concrete goal in mind! Mostly shooting the shit. Someone asked if I'd answer questions, and to that I say Sure! Why the hell not?

Someone else waaaaay back when asked about additional playlists, and so I've made it a personal goal to also get some playlists set up in time for next week's chat. They'll probably be through Spotify; I'll aim to post the links by Saturday. This'll include my (SUPER OLD AND POSSIBLY OUTDATED) PpG/RrB playlists (maaaaybe my small Bubbles/Princess playlist) and a Fight! playlist for sure. Time permitting, I might even get into character-specific playlists, but a lot of times I've just lumped them into the ship!playlists, mostly out of laziness.

If anyone out there doesn't have a Spotify account and wants to avoid setting it up through their Facebook acct, I recommend the signup technique here :)

Looking forward to chatting next Sunday!
essbeejay: in your face, nerds! (take that!)
I saw the thing. I saw the thing five times.

Okay, that's misleading. I sat down and actually watched the thing two of those five times all the way through. The other three times it was playing in the background while I bustled about doing other things.

I really like the thing. After multiple viewings, I daresay I... love? The thing?

And referring to it as “The thing” is sending the wrong message. I really, genuinely, truly enjoyed it. I made my tea this morning, sat next to my sleeping SO, booted up the telly, and strapped in to see what they could do. And frankly, I think they did a really, really great job.

I've been noting various things all day as they come to me, so now, presented in no particular order, are some thoughts about The Powerpuff Girls Special: Dance Pantsed. )

Well! Those are my long-winded thoughts! (Some of them. Did I ever actually talk about the script? Fuck, whatever.) What did you guys think? Love it? Hate it? I must know.

(Also it seems people are totes up for a PpG chat come Super Bowl Sunday, so I'll start looking into setting it up! You guys rock.)
essbeejay: saving the world. (Default)
Would anyone be interested in a livechat or summat?

I was talking with [personal profile] busterella recently about how distanced I feel from fellow fans these days - largely my own doing, since lj is not where fandom hangs these days and I refuse to succumb and get a tumblr - and she suggested starting up a chatroom, thus eliciting an "omg duh" reaction from me.

Super Bowl Sunday is coming up in a couple of weeks, so I was thinking of doing it then, if I do it. (Sunday, 2/2/14, 3:30pm US PST. I'll have the game on, but I rarely sit down and watch a game. I like to have it on in the background while I do other stuff.) No concrete goal in mind, other than to hang out and shoot the shit about PpG or TEF or movies or the actual football game or, you know, whatever.

So yeah. If you're into the idea, let me know!

And thank you to [personal profile] busterella for the suggestion. U DA BEST
essbeejay: saving the world. (Default)
The other day I read a post where the blogger basically stated that they would be sure to download Monday's Dance Pantsed PpG Special on account of the reveal a few weeks back publicly affirming that WB/CTN doesn't care about catering to girls, and as a result CTN doesn't deserve the ratings or revenue. Which is poor thinking.

I understand the sentiment behind it - no, we should not continue to support a company that chooses to marginalize its female viewers - but refusing to watch the ONE SPECIAL, the ONE CTN SHOW whose main characters are all girls is not the way to do it. Companies need to know that a property featuring little girls being total badasses has value. They need to see it kill in the ratings, they need to see it move merchandise, they need to see it rocket to the top of iTunes' and Amazon's top downloaded show.

So here's my request, from one fan to (hopefully) many: watch the special on Monday. ON TV. If, like me, you don't have cable, try to view it the most legit way you can. If you have Christmas money or gift cards leftover, buy the episode on iTunes or Amazon. (I purchased a TV Pass - Amazon's version of a subscription to their video content - for the special, in an effort to demonstrate that I love this property so much that I am willing to pre-order it, sight unseen.) If you are flush with cash, visit CTN's online store and buy some merch. They just released a couple of fucking awesome t-shirts and are offering a sweet little PpG charm bracelet as a gift with $30 purchase. (I... have multiples coming. Cough.)

The sad truth of the business is it all comes down to numbers. Money talks. And if you have the means to, and girls' programming means something to you...

Anyway, that's all I have to say, besides I'm really looking forward to Monday's special. Obviously. (Kevin Dart posted an anon comment on his blog that actually came from me, shhh.)

Also there is this adorable fanart that was inspired by my fuckery in this post ♥ Thank you for indulging me!
essbeejay: bored roar (ROAR.)
To the person who sent me a PM asking about the thing - you can do the thing! Your account is set up such that I cannot actually respond to your message, hence the public post instead.

(The two things I would ask that you add are a disclaimer attributing PpG to Craig McCr*cken and, if possible, a note that your work is not necessarily hard TEF/MTH canon. Thank you so much!)

And for extra funsies, I want this to be on Blossom's warm-up post... well, post-Brick anything, really. I want her to throw that into the stereo and then just hit it so hard, to the point where she could legitimately be breaking shit by the end of it. Shit as in... the foundation of the studio.

... I wonder if there's anything she could suitably krump to, come to think.
essbeejay: i cannot go to bed, there is epic shit happening on the internet (the internet is srs bsns)
(This entry was motivated by this post on the fan tumblr, and I would like to take the time to please ask everyone to treat the asker with respect before responding. This is something that comes up with a fair number of readers, not just this one, and I've finally decided to respond myself.)

It always surprises me how many readers believe that the Reds are the most “perfect” or well-rounded characters. I try to refrain from discussing this at too much length because when it comes to bigger thematic elements I really don't want to be planting my words or thoughts in anybody's mouth – I don't want to tell anyone how to “read” my story. I would rather they come to those conclusions based on my ability to carry those points across in my writing. I have admittedly used this as a measure of how good a job I am doing – if people get it, I have succeeded! Hooray! If they don't, that tells me there is something I can work on clarifying. (The road to bettering yourself never ends.)

However, in the case of the Reds, I have received some pretty divided feedback. There are obviously readers who love the characters, both individually and as a “couple” as portrayed in TEF. There are also readers who feel the Reds are unfairly elevated above their siblings, that too much attention is paid to them, and also, why are they so perfect and great at everything? That's impossible. Nobody in real life is like that.

(Let's set aside the issue that this is a fic about cartoon heroines who are canonically perceived by their entire city as perfect and great, and also that Blossom is, canonically, the Powerpuff Girl most likely to strike the finishing blow (see “Stuck Up, Up, and Away,” “Ice Sore,” “Abracadaver,” “Mime for a Change,” aaaaand I'm going to stop because I don't need to be listing like 80% of the series' run of episodes here). I assume we have all watched the same show, so let's just get to the real meat of this business.)

I have brought up the issue a few times, mostly with regards to Blossom and a perceived Mary Sue-ishness about her (an opinion that I still vehemently disagree with), but for the most part refrained from delving deeply into the issue because, again, I don't want to tell people how to read the story, it is merely my job to tell it. I have realized, though, that this isn't an issue of me or the narrative not being clear. This is an issue of having wildly different opinions about what makes a person “perfect.” And having a different opinion doesn't mean you are reading the story wrong, so if you are in that camp, I hope you don't take this as an attack! I simply want to explain where I am (and perhaps several other readers are) coming from when I perceive the Reds as “imperfect” people.

Yes, Blossom and Brick are great at many things. )

I hope I've explained myself adequately. Again, this isn't intended to invalidate anyone's criticism, this is intended to explain the mindset I am approaching with regards to writing the Reds. I hope this entry doesn't deter any current readers from reading further, or from future criticism. I always welcome and encourage discussion!

There's more that I haven't touched on, but good holy Christ it is late and I need the sleep. Although, apropos of nothing I have rambled about tonight, if somebody could tell mirakelsey on tumblr that her rendition of the girls is one of my favorites so far (my God, her posing is FANTASTIC), please do! I don't have tumblr (and I will not get one, so please don't urge me to as your pleas will fall on selectively deaf ears) and she doesn't allow anonymous asks. So. Yes. If the Internet fairies could do that, that would be awesomesauce. (For the record, and always, thank you to everyone who has done fanart of TEF. I do see all of it and I squee and I save it in a little folder on my 'puter for safekeeping. Every piece, no matter how big or small, matters so much to me. Thank you ♥)
essbeejay: saving the world. (Default)
I just finished my first draft of ch12. It's very rough and I still need to do my own revision pass on it before it's ready to send to Team Awesome, but the legwork is done. Ch12 is the last chapter of Part 2. And I promised myself that I would not post about this until after I had finished Part 2. Clever people might guess where I'm going.

TEF—More Than Human—is the last fic I will publish for the PpG fandom.

I reached this conclusion two years ago. Probably more, actually. It's been a long time coming, but I wanted to make sure I got through enough of this big, epically long, stupid thing before I put it out there for everyone to know. It was kind of a disciplinary measure against myself, to ensure I would finish it. As long as I could get through Parts 1 and 2, then writing Part 3 was a foregone conclusion. After getting this far, I can't not do it.

So. While I have the floor, I do want to say a few things.
  • I do have a few more short stories left in me for the fandom, which will probably get written/posted between now and when the final chapter of TEF actually goes up.
  • Reminder: There are 17 planned chapters for TEF, including at least 2 bonus chapters. Ch9 was posted last month. There's still a ways to go before the end. (Five chapters, to be exact.)
  • TEF is my swan song, my farewell, my love letter not just to the PpG/RrB pairing, but to the fandom as a whole. It is a fifteen-year-long relationship coming to its inevitable end. Once that last chapter goes up, I'm gone, baby, gone.
  • My writing will not stay up forever. It's not because I want to deprive anybody of it! It is simply an inevitability of moving towards what any writer's ultimate end goal is: publication. The fanfic can't stay up forever, and won't stay up forever. So... if one day, years after the final chapter of TEF has gone up, if this space disappears, you'll know. I made it.
  • The end of TEF is not the end of me; the eleven years I spent writing for the fandom have been my training grounds and schooling, the environment within which I honed my craft. TEF in particular has shown me that I have the discipline to at least bust my ass working towards some semblance of publication. The writing itself isn't stopping anytime soon. I will not stop writing. I cannot stop writing.
It's funny. I've written this post over and over in my head and now that the time is actually here, I can't help but find it rather anticlimactic. Not that I didn't see that coming, of course. The transition from head to paper never quite works out the way you want it to.

What's left for me now is to go through this first draft of ch12 and get it beta-ready. In the past when workflow has been better, I've simply sent it off immediately to my betas upon completion, but given the stop-and-start nature of this one, I need to take more time with it. Then, when it's with my betas, it'll be time to flesh out my outline for the final part. There's bits and pieces of it, and some of it's even written, including several of my favorite written scenes yet—I can't wait to share them with you guys!

And you guys. Those of you who have stayed with me, commented, reviewed, drawn fanart and started fanblogs and asked questions and sent gifts, those of you who became friends, with whom I exchanged e-mails and messages about writing and fandom and sometimes boring old real life itself, you guys especially, more than anybody. You guys. You ladies. You wonderful, glorious people, you.

I can't wait to share it all with you. Thank you for sticking around.


essbeejay: saving the world. (Default)

April 2017

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